The Paradoxical By-Laws of Healing

“Some accidents are years in the making.” ~ John Gorka

“Most people prefer the certainty of misery, to the misery of uncertainty.” ~ Virginia Satir

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us. ~ Virginia Satir

“All behavior makes sense, given the context in which it occurs.” ~ Systems Theory

* We live in a world full of pain and suffering. Yet we are wired towards healing. Therefore, the world and our relationships are our practice ground (and sometimes battle field). Remember this when you and your loved ones get hurt by your and others’ mistakes.

* Healing is a choice in this life, pain is not. Suffering occurs when we cannot accept, feel, and deal with our pain in healthy ways. Therefore, suffering is a by-product of choosing to not accept, feel, and deal with our pain.

* We must move towards and into our pain in order to heal, not away from it.

* Moving away from and avoiding our pain only succeeds in creating and accumulating more pain and suffering.

* Our brains are designed to learn (and attach) best when we are experiencing either pleasure or pain. This means that learning (and attachment) occur both when things are going well (i.e. joyful, loving, fun, & happy times), but also when we go through difficult or challenging experiences. Pain provides us with learning (and attachment) opportunities if we choose to utilize them.

* Things WILL go wrong. Humans in relationship only get attachment efforts right about 1 out of every 3 tries. The only difference between healthy and unhealthy families is that the healthy families work to mend at least half of the failed attachment efforts.

* Mended attachment efforts build trust and security. Un-mended attachment efforts can be utilized to build resiliency (i.e. nobody can ever be there for us all of the time, so we need to learn how to be there for ourselves sometimes too). A healthy balance is the key to successful relationships.

* It is never okay to unleash or direct our anger and pain onto others, even if we think they deserve it.

* It is also never okay to unleash or direct our anger and pain onto ourselves, even if we think we deserve it.

* It is our own responsibility to live in accordance with our values, regardless of what others do/say/feel.

* Karma does not give any of us the right to hurt others, nor is it justification for others to hurt us.

* The power of the passive is equally as debilitating and oppressive and violent as any act of aggression.

“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the worlds’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.” ~ The Talmud

The Symbolism Behind Acacia Rising’s Logo

Shekhina is the ancient Hebrew Goddess of wisdom and joy, the feminine part of Yahweh, and the light that dwells within everything. It is said that Shekhina resides at the root of the Acacia Tree (AKA the Tree of Life) because it produces gum arabic, the glue that holds the world together.


If you look closely, you will see two faces that shape the trunk of the acacia tree, and a heart filled with all of the colors of the rainbow rising up between them and breaking open. A sliver of the moon (feminine energy) rests upon the upper right side of the heart, and the yellow of the sun (masculine energy) flows between the heart and the roots, intermingling with blue (healing and balancing) energy.


When we choose to love, our hearts inevitably are broken open, providing opportunities for growth and healing, as well as for joy and passion. Balancing the masculine and feminine energies within and between us cultivates harmony. Love is sustained when we strive for balance, connection and acceptance within ourselves and others.

Roxanne George, PhD, LMFT, EMDR Certified; Acacia Rising Counseling; 94 El Tros Road, Ranchos de Taos, NM 87557; Phone: (575) 758-4270; Text: (541) 760-8799; Email: